I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
nutella sex= disaster
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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