Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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