Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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