He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
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The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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