no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
