if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
