3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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