I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
