are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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