Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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