Having a random hookup so left but love u
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
