nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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