if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
