What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What drink are we having for lunch?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
