I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she peed on how many people?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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