More tranny stories later!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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