I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
