Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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