All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize