i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
