this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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