Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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