She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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