I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I could make wine with my vomit
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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