thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
