So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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