it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize