i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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