The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
