Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
