it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
