I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
