Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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