You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Bring me that man meat
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
