theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And then my night got REAL pukey
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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