4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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