hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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