worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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