was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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