I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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