I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
