My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize