Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What drink are we having for lunch?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
