Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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