is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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