I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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