the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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