the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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