She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
