dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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