Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
