maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
