Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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