Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
