Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
foreskin is a definite game changer
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize