Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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