Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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