her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's never too late to be topless.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
