Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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