I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize