So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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