We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize