I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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